Let’s talk about engaging your child at the dinner table. How do mealtimes go at your house? I know that for so many families there can be tantrums, food throwing or kids who just aren’t engaged at the table. Here are 5 ways to decrease mealtime tantrums and food refusal, all while helping your child to be more present at mealtime. Although these are not ways to get your child to try new foods or eat a certain amount, they certainly help because a child that’s happier and less stressed at mealtimes is a child that is typically eating more too. The best part is that these strategies have nothing to do with the actual food your child is eating.

1. Don't focus on what they are eating.

Try to make mealtime about connection with your child. Remember the division of responsibility, you decide what's on the menu, and your child decides what to eat. This is a key factor in mealtimes going smoothly. Make mealtimes about connection: talking to your child and having this be a time when you can create new memories. If you are feeling concerned with their nutrient intake or how much they're eating anything, then set up a free 15 minute discovery call with me, and I can guide you through that. As parents, we provide the food and we let our children decide how much to eat, and that’s how we help our children to form a healthy relationship with food. If that feels a little confusing or scary, you are not alone. And that's okay. That's where I come in to help guide you through this. We want our kids to feel joy when it comes to eating. And this is where we can start. It may feel a little counterintuitive, but by not focusing on the food we are starting to drive up engagement because our child is feeling less stressed at the dinner table.

2. Make the conversation about them, in a good way.

Focus on their day, what they like to talk about, and their interests. Kids love to talk about themselves. Sometimes when the conversations moves to adult topics, engagement with little ones comes to a halt. It’s about making sure the conversation is child appropriate. Sometimes this takes some work, but it can be really fun.

3. Ask engaging questions.

Instead of "how was your day?" try something like, "what was one thing that made you smile today?" or "did anything challenge you today." This is my favorite list of questions. Start asking them questions that require more than a yes or no response. I find this can also be just a fun way to learn about your child. I know for many of us, our kids are in school, preschool or daycare, so we don't have that much time to connect during the day. Mealtimes can be one of those times where we are able to really learn a little bit more about our child.

4. Make mealtimes fun. Be silly. Allow for play.

There is a big difference between playing with (and throwing food) and food play/ exploration. Yes, it might be messy, but remember that eating is a sensory experience and the more we can let our little ones use their senses, the more they are able to explore, and get used to the food. Food play should be 100% encouraged. It’s about using all of our senses to explore food. What might this look like in practice? You have carrot and bell pepper and ask, “which one do you think is going to crunch louder.” You are beginning to engage them from a sensory perspective, especially for kiddos who might be more selective. And letting them explore, touch, feel and smell their food. It can get messy. But when we let kids explore, we are letting them have fun which leads to mealtime engagement.

5. When they are ready, let them get up from the table.

Sometimes we want so desperately for our child to stay at the table for a long period of time, but so often it doesn't happen. Remember to set realistic expectations when it comes to eating. Some little ones may have a short attention span (think 5 minutes), and my philosophy is to allow them to get up from the table when they are ready. You can instill manners that are in line with what you believe (for example, you may want your child to ask to be excused). I've seen that some of these unwanted behaviors at mealtimes can start occurring when our child has been sitting at the table for too long. And, if you're working on some of the previous four strategies that I mentioned, they might stay at the table for longer because they are more engaged at mealtimes.

Source:Rachel Rothman, Nutrition In Bloom